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Caption Contest
But they told me to make a right at the light...
Hatch backs in first
Drive in Rave
Would you like to take the damage waiver?
Ladies - Please use Assigned Parking Spaces Only
Ok let's all trade insurance information
OK who took my spot?
Head in Only Please
AA Meeting Today
I told them we needed a cable bridge!
You''re only as good as you're last show!
Parking Graduate
Parking Graduate
In flight re-fueling system for ladies
New - T2K Airbus for rent
AIRBUS 2000 - Available for Private and Corporate Charter
Airbus 2000 is changing the way we view VIP travel. Maybe you want to have a top secret meeting or screening of your latest film. Do you have any special clients that would enjoy being picked up by a jet so luxurious we don't have room to list all the features? Could it be that you crave the hightech, multimedia environment that only Airbus 2000 can provide? "The $26 million dollars I spent on the Airbus was the best investment I've ever made," explained Mark Rowlands, President of Towards 2000, Inc. (the mother company). "This private luxury jet has seen incredible success, in fact, several countries have already signed contracts for their Presidential staff! It's utterly amazing, one referral leads to another and another... Rumor has it that the US Olympic Committee is considering a test flight next month. Airbus 2000 just might be the Official Jet of the 2005 Olympic Games in Borneo!" Rowlands has every right to be joyous as the success of the Airbus has catapulted Towards 2000's revenue up 50 percent this quarter alone. It seems all this global media coverage has really begun to paid off. With an unprecedented feature list including a complete radio and television broadcasting facility, sushi bar and jacuzzi, it's no wonder that Rowlands' jet has been receiving so much attention. Bosnia Serb President, Biljana Plavsic, likened his experience on the Airbus to that of, "being at my favorite resort and having the luxury to travel anywhere I choose. The vast array of communication equipment allows me to stay in the sky for days at a time without missing a thing." Keep your eyes and ears open as the Airbus 2000 could be taking off from an airport near you.
We have decided to permanently intall our old T2K Airbus at our ranch location and it will be used as an FBO (Fixed Base Operation) - and will be available for meetings and events for those who would rather not travel!
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The airplane is 153 feet from nose to tail and will rotate inside of a one-acre lot.
The Airbus 2000 FBOs are made to be up in the wind. Some hilltop lots are not suited for a conventional homes but are ideal for an airplane home. Hurricane Proof, the airplane home can survive a hurricane - and no plywood window covers required!
Please call for rental information or on how to purchase your own Airbus FBO (makes a great office)
We've been advised that terrorists may attempt to pass themselves off
as ordinary American citizens and may even attempt to change their hair
color, wardrobe, or appearance in order to "blend in". You are
advised to notify the authorities of any suspicious individuals who match the attached examples:
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
us bitching about you leaving it down.
2. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
3. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
4. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons
guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
8. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
11. You have enough clothes.
12. You have too many shoes.
13. Crying is blackmail.
14. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!!
15. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
16. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
17. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
18. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
19. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the #### they're saying anyway.)
20. Check your oil.
21. It is in neither your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
22. Anything we said 6 months or 6 years ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null
and void after 7 days.
23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.
24. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
25. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
26. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
27. If it itches, it will be scratched.
28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
29. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take
to do the dishes? Both of them.
2. Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut.
3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't
stop and ask for directions.
4. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys
two cases of beer.
5. What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds
eventually will mature.
6. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
7. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We
don't know. It has never happened.
8. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking? They all already have boyfriends.
9. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night? A widow.
10. When do you care for a man's company? When he owns it.
11. Why are married women usually heavier than single women? Single
women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed, married
women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
12. How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Tape the remote control
between his toes.
13. What did God say after creating man? "I must be able to do better
than THAT!".
14. What did God say after creating Eve? "Practice makes perfect".
15. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common? They're all married.
16. Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful? "God
says, "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you
make her so dumb? "God says, "So she would love you!".
Links to other T2K Sites
Need a holiday in Cornwall, England? - http://www.LetsgotoCornwall.com
Farm house and cottage available for rent.
http://www.LetsgotoCornwall.com
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